Rock Hall – Roast ’em if You Got ’em!

Published On April 10, 2017 | By Matt McNeill | Afternoons

We may have only 19 days to wait until we can sit down on our couches, pop some corn
and watch the  32nd annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony when it airs
on HBO on April 29th – but until then, we have the reports and highlights from the
event, which had Rush’s Geddy Lee and former Yes members Jon Anderson,
Trevor Rabin and Rick Wakeman performing together.

And Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament who wore a shirt to the ceremony that featured
the names of nearly a hundred artists who have yet to be inducted into the
Rock Hall – and some delightfully depreciating moments of humour from
David Letterman who reflected upon having Pearl Jam on the Late Show
as guests over the years.

It was Yes’s Rick Wakeman however who turned out to be the scene-stealer
at this year’s Rock Hall Induction ceremonies. Maybe this is a hidden talent,
unleashed within the pubs of England on occasion, maybe Rick, like so many
others watched a few Don Rickles reels online (RIP!). But when he stepped up
on that stage, Yes keyboardist and songwriter Rick Wakeman tore the house
down with what felt more like a stand-up set than a thank-you speech.
And it was nothing short of glorious.

And thanks to our intern Carlos, who we sent down to the Barclay Center last week
(he started walking on Monday) with a Styrofoam Cup (to put against the door),
we’ve recovered his notebook (but sadly no Carlos) in which is scribbled, a transcript
of Rick Wakeman’s epic speech…… here it is. (RIP Carlos)

EDIT: Update!! Youtube had footage all along!
Guess we didn’t need to send an intern after all. ( Sorry, wherever you are, Carlos..)

I’m very happy for a couple of reasons to be inducted. One is the fact, obviously to be a part of Yes and getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and the other is something I really probably shouldn’t tell you: Less than half a mile away from this very building is where I had my very first meaningful sexual experience. No, no, no. Please. It wasn’t very good — it never is when you’re on your own. Anyway, as Steve [Howe] said a thank you to his wife, I will say a thank you to mine. Unfortunately, she’s not here tonight. When I left her this morning, I think she was in a coma actually. The sex was still the same, but the washing was piling up.
I’d like to thank, apart from all the guys in Yes that I work with, my father, who played a massive part in my career. Like my family, we were all in the entertainment business. We generally were very, very poor. My father was an Elvis impersonator. But there wasn’t much call for that in 1947. He taught me a lot. I remember he sat me down once, he said: “Son, don’t go to any of those really cheap, dirty, nasty, sleazy strip clubs because if you do, you’ll see something you shouldn’t.” So, of course I went. And I saw my dad.
I’m glad that we’re actually out third [in the order on inductees] because as
you get older,
the old things like the prostate start acting up a bit.
What I would like to say quite seriously is
how important it is to have the odd examination, which I had indeed on Monday.
You ladies, you don’t know,
it’s really tough. You have to get in the old fetal position, you hear
the old plastic
glove go off or the rubber glove. And then it’s like the gopher going on holiday
inside. Whilst I was having my examination, the doctor said to me,
“Mr. Wakeman, there’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s not unusual to get an
erection with this kind of procedure.” I said, “I haven’t
got an erection.”
He said, “I know, but I have.”

Now, since none of us were there, and no one gets to see the footage until
April 29th, you’ll just have to imagine the roars of laughter and the mayhem
as audience members split their sides laughed their fillings out and begged
Rick to please stop and let them catch their collective breath.
I like to imagine that the audience laughed so hard that they started to float
out of their chairs and hit the ceiling with laughter like the old banker and
his friends did in Mary Poppins.  Whereafter they all promptly died.
But at least they died LAUGHING.

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