The Lenny-Bot Slays Telemarketers…

Published On March 1, 2018 | By Matt McNeill | Afternoons

Update:
A new law in Ontario has put an end to the day of door to door sales.
Gone are the days of shoddy roof jobs, questionable duct cleaning and driveway disasters.
Can telemarketers be next? Pretty please?
In the meantime, with a bookmark link to THIS SOUNDBOARD PAGE of “Old Man Lenny”
who has become a hilarious weapon against phone scammers, you too can fight back.

Because, despite being put on the Do Not Call list, you’ve still gotten those calls from telemarketers

and fraudsters, pitching their scams and vacations and too-good-to-be-true stories of found money
and red hot offers that YOU and only YOU have been specifically chosen for!

One effective strategy in dealing with these calls is with an actual air horn, which comes in air-canister
form and can be found in the marine section of any sporting goods store, but this often irritates
those around you, within the house and to your neighbors to either side.

But the BEST strategy so far involves wasting their time for the sake of pure comedy (and for tying up their resources so that they cannot bother others effectively when they’re stuck on the phone with a prankster troll like you). Meet  Lenny. Lenny is a hilarious set of very convincing recordings designed to fool telemarketers into thinking they’ve called a real person.

Lenny sounds like he is about 150 years old, hard of hearing – and prone to long, confused silences
broken with rambling reflections upon his eldest and thus smartest children, nieces and grandchildren,
before sputtering off into confusion, or into another query about what they were talking about.
All it takes is one look at a Lenny transcript like THIS ONE to get the general idea of what the automated Lenny Chat Bot can do to the average telemarketer.

By Googling or YouTube searching for “Lenny Chat Bot” you can find an endless collection of phone scammers losing their minds, while Lenny putters away in confusion (while the sound of quacking ducks occasionally enters the background for reasons unknown – this alone has snapped more than a few of the callers) – but honestly – this Lenny Bot should really be made into an app in 2018.
Let’s seriously make this a goal somehow.

Now, before you jump in to defend the working phone jockeys, in all fairness yes, I know telemarketing can be a legitimate  job, staffed by REAL people who probably don’t love every waking second of the work involved.  I myself lasted all of 2 weeks at a call center in Cambridge Ontario during rough times.
We’re talking more about the scammers here. The ones who prey on the elderly.
I think that’s why I find Lenny to be so endearing.

Listen closely and you’ll hear the true scammers, the ones who push their pitch, regardless of how obvious it is that their target is not on solid footing so to speak.  The exasperated ones who are finally reduced to shouting “Credit card number sir!!”  over and over until the blithering, nonsensical replies from the Lenny Bot finally drive them to swear, break down and or hang-up.
Remember…not all telemarketers are evil.  It’s just the 99% who give the 1% a bad name 😛
– MM.

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